I (have just) come from a land Down Under

That’s right. This year I simply couldn’t hack the January blues (or the blue fingers likely brought on by the January cold) so I upped and left you all behind to visit my best friend Cat in Perth. Thankfully we’re talking Perth, Australia, rather than Perth Scotland - which I fear would have been even colder than my London flat1

It probably goes without saying (or typing) but I’ll put it on record anyway - the sunset city did not disappoint. We had soaring temperatures, crystal blue sea and sky, and a very small but probably inevitable smattering of sunburn. It seems I was caught off-guard by the lack of ozone layer in Oz. Or ‘no-zone’ as the Aussies should probably call it.

As well as turning myself in the sun like a rotisserie chicken (thanks to Cat for that particular image!) I also partook of the many other delights that Western Australia had to offer. We travelled south to Wine Country and a place called Margaret River, where copious vineyards lie close together, each of them offering up free tastings of their delectable produce. I can confirm it is a very quick and easy (but apparently acceptably classy) way to get merry. Add into that gin distilleries, olive tastings and hot-off-the-kiln and incredibly high demand fruit loaf, and you’ve got yourself a veritable feast. It was a truly decadent and delightful way to start the trip.

And we didn’t let a little hospital-based hiccup run our plans too greatly (apparently a particularly angry bee was jealous of all the fun we were having so thought to put a stop to it with a particularly aggressive sting!). But as I said, no Aussies or Brits were harmed long term in this particular road bump to our adventure. In many ways it only added to the theatricality of it, as I was forced to learn to drive Cat’s Honda Jazz. I can only apologize for the lasting damage I have done to her poor clutch!

In my just-shy-of-3-weeks we managed to pack a lot in. I experienced a night out Aussie style (and can confirm that we Brits don’t quite cut the mustard), I visited what I assumed was a beautiful beach but according to Aussie standards was ‘sub-par’, and I had not one but two Aussie BBQs!

Not to mention the wildlife we met on this trip. And no, not the scary stuff of our nightmares (spiders and snakes, I’m looking at you), but birds, goats (yes, goats), quokkas and koalas. We visited a cuddly animal farm and befriended several curious Capricorns, we visited the exceptionally beautiful island of Rottenest, home to the inexplicably adorable and friendly quokka, and at a theme park Cat booked me into a koala experience so I could pet and feed them. And of course the old man was my favourite. Slow, sweet-natured, a bit stupid and certainly an attention seeker, he reminded me rather a lot of another beautiful fluffy boy I once had in my life. And besides all the exotic animals I also got to share my trip with Cat’s two dogs and a cat. Moose, the sweetest boy with an unfortunate appetite and ability to do shits the size of a football, Twiglet the tiniest, neediest and sweetest Chihuahua, and Tiddlebee - definitely the strangest cat I have ever met (but also my favourite. Aside from the eponymous Cat!)

I also almost forgot to mention the fish we saw swimming in the sea! On our exhaustively adventurous day trip to Rottnest Island we hired an e-bike and an e-scooter and to both our surprise managed to avoid any injury or near-death experience. We cycled and scootered round the island, eventually finding a now-suitably-beautiful and Aussie approved beach where we proceeded to sunbathe (and sunburn). This was also our only real opportunity to snorkel. So out we went a bit deeper into the admittedly still tamely shallow (but terrifying for a Brit who lives so far from any swimmable sea) waters, and popped on all our gear, and Darth-Vadered our way around the coral reefs, spotting lots of fishies, some lovely coral, and a shark. I joke, we didn’t see a shark. But every time I saw anything move in my peripheral my heart did skip a beat an my brain did say “now this is how you die”. But the shark-spotting helicopter (yes, this is really a thing) gave us the all clear. We topped off a pretty perfect day was the freshest seafood possible, stuffed ourselves silly, and lathered our skin in aloe ver as soon as we got home. All in all, a successful adventure.

I can’t possibly fit everything we did on this trip into a blog post that would be even vaguely readable. Or comprehensible. Because when you’re with an old friend, a lot of what you do or say probably makes no sense to anybody else. But thankfully Cat and I have been in each other’s lives for long enough now that it’s essentially too late to back out.

As the sun set on my final evening in Perth we were treated to the most beautiful sky I think I could ever have imagined. It was a heartwarmingly aesthetic backdrop to a heartbreaking evening, as I once more had to say goodbye to one of my favourite people in all the world. Who just happens to live on the other side of it. It was a treat to get to spend a good amount of time with her, even though it’s never ever long enough. Despite the fact I’ve only visited Perth once before, because Cat is living there, it feels a bit like coming home. Besides her mum has practically adopted me as a second daughter! I got invited into Cat’s new life and her Australia-based world for a few weeks, and it made my heart very full to know she is happy, and that there are plenty of people there who love her very much. But it’s also always very good to remind her how much I’m team Cat (to the bitter end) and how much joy she brings me. Even when we’re both in floods of tears and the taxi driver has to console me all the way to the airport.

So I guess this one’s for you, Cat. Give all the animals a big squeeze from me

Xxx