Organised chaos

To the untrained eye my life may seem like a perfectly coiffured toupee - not a hair out of place - but I am afraid I must let you all in on a little secret. My life is much better represented by a windswept wig, littered with twigs and leaves and all off kilter. Yes that's right, my life is organised chaos, much like my wardrobe to be honest. I had this epiphany when my dad lugged down a bag from the loft, filled to the brim with all my winter clothes. And let me tell you, I own a LOT of jumpers. He enquired how many dead bodies I had in there before kindly telling me to sort it out and put it all away neatly. Oh the audacity! So I tipped out the mammoth load of knits and sweaters, rolled around in the pile for a bit (I mean, who wouldn't?) and eventually convinced myself that I should stop all this nonsense and put the woollens in their rightful place. My wardrobe. There was only one problem - my wardrobe was already full. Where on earth was I going to shove all this stuff?! So I did the only practical thing I could think of. Tipping out the entire contents of my wardrobe onto my bedroom floor. This genius move actually resulted in the inability for me to stand anywhere in my room without being cushioned by a layer of clothing, which made putting any of the said clothing away in any sort of order even more of a challenge. Woe is me, the price you pay for being a serial shopper - have pity. My summer and winter clothes now lie in a mingled, multi-seasonal heap in the middle of my floor. They're still there now, I am just resigned to the fact that I may never see my carpet again. Farewell beige fibres, you have cushioned my morning feet well over the years.

It is not only my wardrobe that is proving a chaotic blend of seasons, but my work life and social life too. When people enquire after my professional activities, there is never any guarantee of what answer they're going to get. I am juggling my time between being an assistant director for corporate films, a developer of content for cultural projects, a ghost writer of autobiographies, an actor, voiceover artist, and apparently whatever else anyone is willing to pay me to do. It does keep things rather exciting, because from day to day I don't know if I'll be on set behind the camera, or whether I'll be behind a screen, typing away, with pen and paper in hand, or in hair & make-up. This being said, the glamour can sometimes wear thin, and the confusion and chaos rears its ugly head. The same for out-of-hours life, where I might be going to afternoon tea with an old friend one day, meeting a very loose acquaintance for coffee the next, and singing with a bunch of OAPs the next. I'm caught between young professional socialite and pensioner who finds herself permanently at a loose end looking for pleasant company and reminiscing about 'the good old days'. Who am I?!

After the identity crisis wears off I can see once again that things aren't so bad. This, after all, is really a very good experience all round. In this life I am always kept on my toes, which means to some extent I am prepared for anything, and certainly prepared to converse with anyone (canines included). I also never have any idea what I'm going to wear, therefore the random assortment of my wardrobe has actually proved to be a fashionable reawakening. People might think I'm starting some sort of new trend wearing a summer dress, winter boots and fancy-dress pirate jacket (yes, that IS a thing I own), but in fact that's actually just the first 3 things I picked up from the floor. It's thoroughly liberating to dress so randomly, I would highly recommend it - although it is perhaps the privilege of a freelancer who often works from home, as I'm not sure how those corporate types up in London would view my lurid prints and clashing patterns. They just can't handle this level of chaotic couture.

And as is fitting with the chaotic nature of my life, I must now whizz off to do any one of a number of random and unrelated activities. I'll report back to you when I have discovered where I lie on the scale between recent graduate and OAP - I have a feeling my long-time friends may already have the answer (is it time for a cuppa and a good old natter yet?)